Lack of libido or female sexual arousal disorder (FSAD) as it’s technically known, is a common reason women consult with me. This can happen at any age and for a variety of different reasons. 

While anthropologically it is suggested that men have higher libidos than women, in my practice I am consistently seeing the ravages of stress, ill-health and relationship problems, on men’s libidos too.

 However today's vlic is about women and there are so many reasons why women of any age can be affected by female sexual arousal disorder. 

Many women didn’t come from families who were comfortable with helping them create healthy sexual identities and as a result haven’t really learned how to enjoy their own sexuality, especially independently. If you don’t become aware of how your body works and what turns you on most, it’s more difficult to then guide your partner towards truly satisfying sex in the long-term. As a result, many women I speak to don’t really see the true value in sex for th...

I was recently asked by a journalist to share my thoughts regarding whether we should spill the beans to someone, when we know they’re being cheated on. Those of us who value honesty above all else (and are often comfortable with conflict or even seek it out) will say “absolutely” and will do it regardless of the cost. On the other end of the spectrum those who value an easy life (and are often conflict avoidant) say “No, why stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong”. My answer to that question, like many of life’s dilemmas is, “it depends”.

 
Firstly let’s clarify what constitutes an affair. An affair isn’t just about a sexual indiscretion, it’s also about secrets, intimacy and the destruction of trust. I help couples who seek me out in the aftermath of an affair to co-construct it’s definition. Looking for a less pejorative way to describe each partners’ situation, I use the terms ‘affairer’ for the person who’s having/had the affair and ‘affairee’ for the partner who’s having/h...

In the immortal words of Elton John, sorry really does seem to be the hardest word.

Please click here if you'd rather listen than watch.

 
The topic of todays’s Blog is without a doubt one of the most important things we can learn to do properly, if we are going to have good relationships. In fact I would go as far as to say it would be pretty impossible to have a well-balanced and meaningful relationship without knowing how to do it, and do it well.

 
I remember learning about why saying sorry was so important and how to do it properly and the power and freedom it brought me was enormous, and I want to share that with you today.

In my work with couples there’s often one of them who feels like they’re the one who’s always saying sorry, and that usually the only way to fix things between them is to apologise. In fact oftentimes the reason that they end up coming to see me, is because that person has stopped doing it, they just got so fed up with it, and instead it got replaced by e...